Turtle Turtle

Turtles are fiercly cute, much in the same way chickens are stupidly fierce.

I had a turtle as a child. Then it grew up.

I had a turtle as a child. It didn’t taste very good.

I don’t understand how a turtle could be a ninja as turtles with swords would most certainly be detected. Talking turtles would probably draw quite a bit of attention, too, even without the swords.

A shy turtle would probably be exceptionally vulnerable if coaxed from its shell, if in fact that was possible. Therefore, overcoming such shyness could be a death sentence.

If turtles could play organised sports, could a commentator rightly refer to any event in which said turtles would participate a “shell game”, thus casting doubt on the honour of the players?

Considering the status quo of turtles clearly gives rise to many questions. Yet they seem not to have any questions themselves. There are no know schools of turtle philosophy nor is there any extant or apparent body of turtle literature devoted to or influenced by existential thought.

For some, turtles are the other white meat.

So many questions. At least the folks at Fox’s ADHD can clarify some elements of the nature of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the following Scientifically Accurate Ninja Turtles informative video: