There’s A New Pope In Town

Indeed, world Catholicism is no longer leaderless. Oh wait – I forgot about God there for a second. Oh, um, that’s a concept and sheeple need a human leader they can follow, preferably one that embodies the mystique of everything they think they’re not. Therefore, a big huzzah for former Nazi Youth gone to the light, Benedictus XVI !!!

So, how does the first German pope in eight hundred years changes things? Here’s a list, according to Father This and Reverend That, as heard on tonight’s news:

1. Gay rights: no change
2. Women priests: no change
3. Contraception: nope
4. Priests can marry – according to one of the pundits, it is as follows, to paraphrase: A priest asks God whether priests will ever be allowed to marry. God answers,”Not in your lifetime.” The priest goes on to ask whether women will ever be allowed to be ordained into the priesthood. God answers,”I’ll put it to you this way – not in my lifetime.”

Ha. Ha.

“God’s Rottweiler”, as the new Pope is allegedly affectionately referred to, is seventy-eight years old. When I saw a still image on the CNN web site, the very first thing that popped into my head was “turtle, turtle,” though I can’t say why, for sure. Anyway, the last shortest reign of a “Benedictine” was eight years, thought I’m gonna say, um, 72 months. Yeah, that feels right, if the fabric of the force is Responding correctly to my Spidey-sense. It’s also the maximum length of time a single mother of three can finance a new Kia Sephia or Hyundai Elantra so that she can drive to Encino for that job that pays just enough more to cover in case hubby fails to upchuck the lousy support payment next month – like he did last month.

People, people (my gym teacher used to use this anthem to presage his next attempt at motivating a very nerdy dodgeball team at one more lap around the gym): let’s focus on what’s real. Please? Our neighbors, and possibly you, are mostly one paycheck away from disaster. Gas prices are high and our president says that he’ll see what he can do to encourage more refining capacity so that more gasoline can be produced stateside. WTF? How’s about encouraging fuel savings? How about a tax credit for the purchase and maintenance of hybrid vehicles or propane-powered cars? Otherwise, it’s like a drug dealer including a free syringe with each bag of smack. A little common sense, here. PLEASE ?

More later . . .