Miller Time

Okay. Time to get back into the saddle. I’ve slacked off, big time, in the last few, but I hereby pledge to get back into the game.

It’s a sad, sad world. Oh, my: a tear.

I think my blog frightens away all but the truly connectable, like you, my faithful reader, or the utterly clueless. Oh, and ladies from Murmansk, Moscow and Minsk. Unfortunately, I don’t speak green card. In truth, I hurled this post up because I was quickly checking my e-mail and thought, “Dude: you’re feeling honest and open and it is anonymous – go ahead, you know you want to satisfy your muse.” So, I did and here we are.

Last year, or year before last, on a lark, I posted an ad or Craigslist posing as a woman. Yes, I know it’s morally wrong, but I just had to see, I just wanted to know. What I got was probably a hundred e-mails from a vast variety of knuckle-draggers, three-quarters of which had highly indiscreet images attached. I felt embarrassed to be of the same sex, frankly. I mean, unless I don’t get it and this is what women want . . . but, no, that’s not possible. Is it? No, no, no. I did a little Google-ing and found out that my idea wasn’t original and that there were a number of pranksters with sites that posted the responses to their Craigslist posts, images and all. It’s a hoot.

It seems to me that women are at a strict advantage, though, when it comes to finding a male companion. That’s a whole ‘nother argument. In either direction, though, it’s quite a process to find someone with whom to begin to explore a relationship, to whittle down likes, dislikes and compromises and finally, to find whether there’s real chemistry and potential, with good communication and honesty. By the time one carves down to that point, golly, who’s left?

And as that magical couple cranks along, history is made, errors and missteps of various levels of the forgivable occur and every so often, the tote board is surveyed. Is this “relationship” going in the right direction? Do we need a tune up? Am I following the maintenance schedule recommended by the manufacturer? Has my mate reached obsolescence? Is it time for a new model?

Personally, I’m off the market, but if one was to go shopping for a new main squeeze, where would one go? Match.com? We already know about the Craiglist dangers. A bowling alley? A bar? The next church social? I dunno – I’d sooner upgrade my cable subscription and just stay home. Eeek.