It’s Time To Be Disappointed
When I was a kid, I was really into photography. And I was pretty good, too. In fact, I recently found a proof sheet of 35mm negs that date way back that contained a lot of good images. Considering that I was shooting at far lower ratios than today, meaning, 1 good image for every 3 bad, say, versus 1 good image versus 15 with digital photography that I do now.
As I got a little older, I discovered girls, but they weren’t interested in a chubby, geeky kid until I hit thirteen, when I sprouted to my present height of six feet even and got really slim. In fact, that was my lowest weight until today. Today’s weight? 142 pounds, but there’s a long, sad story behind that, to be revealed later, if I manage to live that long. Anyhow, I was also working out – on the guitar, that is, and boy did the girls ever like the musician part of me. That was the elixir of love and lust, I will tell you, no matter what a hound you were. Ray, our drummer, was a real mutt but was never short of interest from the laydees. Through all of this, I discovered something strange. As long as I had a girlfriend, at least, one that I was interested in, nothing much new happened creatively. In fact, years later when I performed I found that the distraction of girls was a definite no-no. It was a creativity killer. My sex happened on stage.
Later in life, long after my music career dissipated in favour of other worldly delights, I became creative in other areas: art, graphics, web design, audio design, video editing. I could sit and work at a thing for twenty hours at a stretch. And it was good work, polished, complete, right. I was pretty well known for my audio work and even one a couple of (useless, in terms of money) awards. I think they’re in the attic now. I’ll have to look so that I can leave them to my daughter so that she can use them as doorstops, I guess. But it was technical work. Yes, there was some creativity, but not like writing a song or framing a photograph just so. Nothing from the soul.
As it turns out, I lost my soul. Pffffft – gone. It’s a bummer because I kinda liked it. But, wait, that’s not the climax of the story . . . what happened was that I met this girl and