Handgun

I’m glad I don’t have a handgun. Even the thought of privately fondling the potential power of this simple piece of technology is eerie and vaguely sickening. In my worst moments, I might have thought of using it on myself, if not for the mess it would have left behind. No, I’m too neat for that. But that’s not the point: you don’t bring a knife to a gun fight, as the saying goes, because guns are immutable where knifes are negotiable.

According to the Department of Justice’s statistics, 477,040 people were the victims of violent crime that involved a gun in 2005 with 9% of all violent crime involving a gun. So, how dangerous are they? Ever had a really bad argument with someone who you had mistakenly thought would love you forever? Bet you’re glad now you didn’t own a gun, huh. Still, the chances of something bad happening, according to the DOJ, is only about 9%, or about a one-in-ten chance.

Thing is, there are the self-annointed who perhaps are the worst offenders. Those few of us who presume that this immutable power is theirs to wield. Shame on you, I say, you bad, bad people. El Exigente does NOT approve.