Don’t Look In The Sock Drawer

Don’t look in the sock drawer because, odds are, there’s more than lint under those fuzzy acrylic cashmere toe socks you never could bring yourself to throwing out. Like this:

You are the sun, the moon, the stars.
You’re my favourite song by the Cars.
You’re anything a boy or girl could want and more.
You’re all my soul is pining for.

I broke your heart when mine was split in two.
I wish now I hadn’t done this thing to you.
Still, I travel that lonely road alone
Toward an unknown beacon ’cause I know you’re not home.

I’m you’re biggest fan, but now it doesn’t matter
Without you I’ve lost all my powers
I’m your biggest fan, stuck up in my tower
Watching you, walking, walking away

Oh, I know what I was thinking when I wrote that: you bet I do. Yes, it was one of my more sanguine moments of clarity in which I braved the reality of my own cornholio-ness and was beaten by a feather. Deserved was a 2 x 6, pressure-treated.

So here I am, trying to get my affairs in order, put all my writing in one place and generally figure stuff out before it’s too damn late and it occurs to me that:

– I have been forgiven more times than should otherwise be humanly possible
– I’ve asked more than I had a right to except that I had to push the envelope on a hope, not a dare
– I’m smarter than most yet stupider than most and that’s the stupidest thing yet

This is no mea culpa. I’ve done that before, in this blog, in fact, and there’s no getting off the hook anymore. I simply accept the good, bad and mediocre acts I’ve created or allowed to have happened. I apologise for the bad and regret the mediocre and not because I’m feeling sorry for myself, because, for once, I’m not.

There’s a young feller named Julian Casablancas who is solo now after some time with The Strokes and he has written me a new anthem, Out of the Blue:

Somewhere along the way, my hopefulness turned to sadness

Somewhere along the way , my sadness turned to bitterness

Somewhere along the way, my bitterness turned to anger 

Somewhere along the way, my anger turned to vengeance

And the ones that I made pay were never the ones who deserved it
And the ones who deserved it, they’ll never understand it.
Yes, I know I’m going to Hell in a purple basket

‘Least I’ll be in another world while you’re pissing on my casket…

How could you be, oh
So perfect for me?
Why can’t you ignore, oh
The things I did before?

Somewhere along the way, exacting vengeance gave excitement
Somewhere along the way, that excitement turned to pleasure
Somewhere along the way, that pleasure turned to madness
But sooner or later that kind of madness turns into pain

And the ones that I made pay were never the ones who deserved it
Those who helped me along the way, I smacked ’em as I thanked ’em
Yes, I know I’m going to Hell in a leather jacket
‘Least I’ll be in another world while you’re pissing on my casket

And all that I can do is sing a song of faded glory
And all you got to do is sit there, look great, and make ’em horny
Together we’ll sing songs and tell exaggerated stories
About the way we feel today and tonight and in the morning…

How could you be, oh
So perfect for me?
Why can’t you ignore, oh
The things I did before?

Take all your fears, pretend they’re all true
Take all your plans, pretend they fell through
But that’s what it’s like…
That’s what it’s like for most people in this world
The rich or the poor Oh,
Muslims or Jews Oh,
When roles are reversed Oh,
Opinions are too..No oh oh

That’s all I’m gonna say now
Before they come knocking on my door
now

Yup. That about says it.