All The Other Crap

Deception Revealed


I’m a hundred and three years old today. I was the first official retoucher for the United States Armed Forces. I can confirm that this photograph was created from a single soldier who was dragged from the brig early one morning after having been scooped up on a drunk sweep by MPs the night before. Using Photoshop 0.00000001 on my steam-powered Appleseed computer, which was portable, by the way, brought in on a twenty-six car freight train to Fort Benning, I cloned the image of that single soldier into the fantastic “photo” you see here. Originally, Morris wanted to carve the “troops” out of soap and coal, but that didn’t work out. There you have it. Sorry for the seven decades of deception.

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