Conservative Manifesto

There’s something you need to know: I’m a hard-line, dyed-in-the-wool conservative individual. I’m afraid I always have been and I likely always will be, what with the way politics and social attitudes are going in this country. So, I think it would be a good idea to fully “come out” as the staunch conservative (or should that be “Conservative” with a capital “C”? – no, maybe not) and lay out my conservative values for all to see.

First of all, let’s consider the dictionary meaning of “conservative.” According to the decidedly non-partisan Dictionary.com, as an adjective, the word means, “disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change.” Do I fit that mold? Yes, I Can.


As an American, or a Merkin, depending on from where you hail in my fair country,  I believe in the Constitution of the Untied States of America. It is the law. It is my bible. Two hundred and thirty-five years of research, legal challenges, bloody modifications and scholarly debate have not degraded its power. It still stands. If you live in my noble nation and you haven’t read this fundamental and living document, you should, because what’s in there says what you as an individual and what your government can and cannot do. Your rights and responsibilities are explained there. Read it now.


Okay, so, now that you’ve gone through it, it may be clearer that this somewhat simple but very well thought-out document is the basis of how our country runs. The old language is so plain as to be timeless. And the rights the citizens of these United States are afforded by the Constitution are what my conservative attitude wants, no, needs to protect.

I need to protect the rights of citizen Nazis marching in Skokie to freely assemble and to have the ability to say what’s on their minds, just so long as they’re not yelling theatre in a crowded fire. If I don’t fight to conserve the free speech and assembly rights of a hated group, like the crazies from the Westboro Baptist Church, how long will it be before my blog will fall under the aegis of the Department of Acceptable Thought, or something along those lines? Probably not very long at all. So, as foul as my fellow Merkins opinions may be, I’m willing to fight for their, and my, right to say so.


It doesn’t end there, no. I stand for the preservation of freedom of choice, that is, my right to vote, unenncumbered