Benny’s Dead; That’s What I Said

Benny The Dog, aged 6, passed away from complications of pneumonia this afternoon. Benny is survived by an exclusive circle of Benny-Bite survivors and ardent fans of his energetic nature.

He was known for his appreciation of Da Ladieez, evidenced by his ability to fling his 14-pound form up to eye-level of shorter-stature-d female “hors d’oeuvres”, as he would term his targets d’amour. Many human women have admitted to being overwhelmed by his charms, which, it is recalled, were substantial.

He communicated his thoughts directly to and through me, with whom Benny had developed a somewhat symbiotic bond. I would and often did communicate, in plain English, Benny’s thoughts and comments on mundane daily events. When queried directly, Benny would simply shrug and look away, as if not understanding. In the absence of others, however, Benny demonstrated that he had conversational skills to be envied by Aristotle.

He was ever watchful of his people. When I would be OCD-ing over some project, Benny would rise from the luxury of his repose and walk out to where I was working and say, “Hey. Coming to bed? It’s late, you know.” I found this irresistible and  I say now that, thanks to Benny’s diligence, many an alarm-clock’s soundings were heeded rather than not, and clients were kept. Perhaps this was selfish on Benny’s part, knowing full well that without an adequate income, Milk Bones might become scarce. And he did so love him some Milk Bones. Crunch, crunch.

Benny never allowed himself to fall into the pattern of being merely a ‘good dog’. He was more than that, driven to rise into the realm of human consciousness through his own neuroses. He sought to understand and more so, to be understood, specifically so.

Benny will be missed. Shucks,  he’s missed right now. He’s sitting right there, somewhere, just behind me, waiting for the opportunity to speak his mind. And that’s okay. The world tried to deny it, but he earned it just the same. Good dog, Benny, good boy: now, sleep, my friend, and rest well. I have a biscuit for you anytime you want it. Any time at all.