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Please contact us by post with your name, title, company or organisation name, physical address, suite or block number, city, village, town or municipality name, province, district, county, prefecture or intra-state division name, country, continent, planet (please provide galactic coordinates), phone number with area code, cell/mobi/mobile phone number with area code, satellite phone number with transponder code, fax number, again, with area code and country code, too, telex number, shortwave radio licence code and handle and meter band on which you can be hailed.

At this time, our research charge for restricted content or page delivery is One Million Dollars (US). We do not accept PayPal. If you are a Nigerian Prince, the sum shown above should be no problem. If you are not a Nigerian Prince and are instead some random guy or gal hanging out in an internet cafe somewhere in the world (see – we’re not xenophobes), none of what you’re doing is necessary nor remotely sustainable and will, in the end, expose you to risk that you are probably not taking too seriously at the moment. Instead, you might want to consider a career as a YouTube guru or as a social media optimiser or some similar method of getting people to part with their money, whether that money is in rubles or rupees, based on their perception of the value you bring to the table.

Otherwise, please include your request with the required information as outlined above and our research fee, in US dollars or gold bullion only, to the address listed here.

Thank you and have a nice day.

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