The Proof Is In The Pudding

Some people just don’t know when to quit. I’m one of those people. I’m proud of that quality. It’s afforded me some measure of success when it comes to achieving goals or solving problems. One way this feature has not helped me is in dealing with no-account, ruthlessly cruel, manipulatively destructive people. It’s because I think I can show them they’re wrong and by doing so, that I can help them.

Reality-Me say, “You’re a moron. People don’t stop doing stuff because you ‘show them the light.’ They’re inherently bad and what’s more, they like f*cking with you, which is why they keep doing it. Are you truly stupid?” Whole-Me shuffles my feet, thrusts my hands in my pockets and mumbles, “I no know . . . ” Weakness-Me tells me to give them another shot, because it’s Whole-Me’s fault, after all and that we owe it to them.

But F*ck-You-Me steps in to save the day, to wit: “What you on about? Thems bitches f*cked up yo sh*t and you goin’ back fo’ mo’? I kick yo’ crazy-ass cracka-ass ass, you stupid m8therhumpa!”

Gotta keep that pimp-hand strong. Thank you, Daddy: may I have another?