C’mon. You’re Samantha Dale Horton and you’re the prettiest girl this town has ever seen and you can always get whatever you want.”

That about sums it up.

“I’m so hungry, I could eat a buttered monkey.”

Texas-Mom-In-Law: “How’s yer knee?”
Hubby Rick: “It doesn’t work and it keeps me up all night.”
Texas-Mom-In-Law: “Just like my first two husbands.”